My One Phone Call
by ally.enchantress
Summary: In his pocket, his phone vibrated against his hip. He pulled it out, almost not checking the number. When he did, the laughter slid right off his face to be replaced by absolute shock. He froze in place like a deer caught in headlights."


**Short, angsty, kinda songfic-y, ya know. It's a different kind of songfic, and I'm not sure how well it fits their personalities. Also, I don't think this would ever happen, so I went a little AU on you guys. I don't think the case the squad is working is an actual episode. I also never met Dean Porter, so I'm just assuming he was Olivia's handler while she was in Oregon, and chalk his attitude up to ignorance and creative privilege for me, kay?**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizeable characters and lyrics are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit (save the pure happiness I get at reviews) is being made. Unless, of course, you wanted to send me money. I would graciously accept! *hinthint winkwink***

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"I don't know, Elliot, I like Harley for it," Dani said, frowning at Elliot. It was nine thirty in the evening, and captain had placed restraining orders that kept them from coming within five miles of their homes until case was over, and they were joshing each other to stay awake.

He grinned teasingly, patronizing. "And how long have you been at this? Whose word will we be trusting here?"

"It's not word so much as gut, Stabler," Fin countered, "and my gut agrees with Dani."

Munch shook his head with a sympathetic expression. "Word on the conspiracy mill is that gut feelings are overridden by countering evidence, and the evidence points to Jenkins."

"Yeah, right!"

An argument ensued, playful and amused, until Dani fell out off the desk laughing at John's ramblings. Elliot pulled her to her feet and held her arm, turning them both to face Fin and barely containing more laughter. "Now you see who you're agreeing with, Fin? She can't even balance on her own two feet!" Dani punched him in the shoulder and Elliot gently shoved her into her desk chair, the one across from his.

In his pocket, his phone vibrated against his hip. He pulled it out, almost not checking the number. When he did, the laughter slid right off his face to be replaced by absolute shock. He froze in place like a deer caught in headlights. His eyes slid over to the solitary picture on his desk, a smiling brunette with deep brown eyes who was laughing at Munch exactly like Dani had just been doing. But he had hardly heard her name spoken since forever ago. What was she doing calling him now?

The buzzing continued.

Fin stared at him. "Who is it, Stabler? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

Wordlessly, Elliot's eyes flicked unconsciously back to the framed photo on his desk. Fin followed his gaze, and a mixture of disbelief and hope and guilt spread over his face. The question in his eyes went unanswered, though, because Elliot practically ran into the locker room and flipped his phone open. "Don't hang up! Liv, don't hang up. I'm here."

Her voice, so familiar, echoed in a sigh that crackled over the speakers. "I wasn't going to hang up. I'd have left a message."

"Screw messages, _where are you?_" Elliot was whisper-yelling, glancing almost guiltily back at the team, where Fin had told John. Both were trying to juggle keeping Dani in the dark and reading Elliot's lips. "I called both your phones. I went to your apartment. Cragen wouldn't tell me shit. What happened?"

"Don't ask me that, El, I can't tell you." She had a slight trill to her voice, like she'd just been singing. Just the sound of his now unused nickname, even over the phone, slipping through her lips, resounding in her voice, nearly brought him to his knees. Especially with that musical hint to her words.

"Liv, what song were you listening to on your iPod?" Her nickname felt rusty in his mouth. Unused. Not needed.

However, he did manage to make her laugh. "I'm not even going to bother asking how you knew that, Elliot. 'Lips of an Angel' by Hinder. What's John's latest conspiracy that has you so happy?" He could have sworn he heard sadness in her voice. Even unhappy, the grip nostalgia had on him now was nearly suffocating. He glanced once again at the squad, at Fin and John, sitting on either side of Dani's desk, at Dani, still in her chair, elbows resting on her desk between the two men. Her long blonde hair suddenly straightened, shortened, turned brown, and her body shape changed. Not her desk. Olivia's desk.

He had a sudden urge to throw Dani on her ass again, and chuck Munch and Fin down after her. They were all over Olivia's desk like it didn't belong to her anymore. It was still hers. Wherever she was, it was temporary placement. She wasn't gone forever. Dani had no right to that desk. No right.

"Elliot?" She was still waiting for an answer.

"Nothing," he answered. An idea popped into his head. **"Honey, why you calling me so late?"**

Olivia laughed softly, voice betraying emotion. He didn't have to wait for her to figure out why he'd called her 'honey.' She knew him too well. "Be disappointed in me, Stabler. I filched a prepaid calling card off someone so I could talk to you."

He wished he had a different answer for her, but Cragen was coming toward him. **"It's kinda hard to talk right now."**

"I'm breaking the law for you, Elliot! This is what you call a once-in-a-lifetime offer, and my one phone call. You're telling me I'm going to jail for nothing?" She was trying so hard to seem upbeat, but he heard tears in her voice. She coughed, a hitch in her breathing.

"**Honey why you crying? Is everything okay?"**

"Not really. The guys know you're talking to me?"

Cragen knocked sharply on the glass door, beckoning angrily to him. He didn't seem to care when he pointed to the phone. "Stabler, get your ass out here and start working!"

"Is that Cragen?" How she sounded both hopeful and upset was a mystery to Elliot. "You're in the locker room. Why are you whispering?"

The only thing he could think to do was put her on speaker for a moment. "Yep, it's Cragen, and **I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud."**

"Why?"

At her first word, Cragen froze halfway between excitement and bewilderment. "She wants you, not us," he murmured. "I hope she knows we still love her." And he left.

Elliot decided to answer her question. **"Well, my girl's in the next room."**

"Your girl? Oh…your new partner. How is she?"

"**Sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on."** He smiled without humor. He missed her. He was finally able to admit it to himself. He missed his partner Olivia Benson. But he _had_ moved on. The whole time he'd told himself that he would never stop being Olivia's partner, he'd unconsciously replaced her with Dani. He knew he shouldn't feel guilty, but his stomach was twisting like he was coming down with something.

"To be completely honest, that's the only reason I called you. Seeing as I can't tell you where I am, however much I wish I could, my sole possible motive for this contact is to hear you speak."

Elliot sighed. "Liv, **it's really good to hear your voice. Saying my name, it sounds so sweet."**

"El, I miss you. So damn much."

A sad grin split his face. **"Coming from the lips of an angel, hearing those words, it makes me weak."**

She was crying again. He could tell. But she was laughing at the same time. Oh, Liv… "Lips of an angel, huh? You know, I was your partner for eight years, give or take, and that has got to be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, second of course to when you told me I looked like a cop."

"That was a long time ago. We were working that prostitute serial killer." He still remembered. "Are those really the nicest things I've ever said to you?"

"There might have been others, but I find it easier to remember the bad. Even if I deserved them."

Elliot cursed himself. _I can't do this anymore. I can't keep looking over my shoulder, making sure you're okay. We can't be partners._ "Liv, you didn't deserve them. I had absolutely no right to say anything like that to you. I was stressed and angry and you provided the easiest outlet. I have been wanting to tell you for so long that I'm sorry. **And I never want to say goodbye."**

"Elliot, I've always been your outlet. I've never minded."

"**But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful."**

She laughed shortly, for real this time. "Faithful? What am I, your ex-girlfriend? You've all adjusted to the newbie, and she fits the team perfectly. I'm happy for you." Her subdued tone when he didn't contradict her told the real story. "Just for curiosity's sake, what is it about me that keeps you from being _faithful_ to your new partner?"

Elliot grinned. She _was_ like an ex-girlfriend. Like Munch's first wife. The one he still loved. The one he couldn't get over. **"With the lips of an angel."**

"I'm never going to let you forget that you're singing to me over the phone. You know you're out of tune, right?"

His smile this time was blinding. Fin caught his eye with curiosity, which immediately changed to love when he looked at the phone. A nod effectively ended the eye-communication. "Yeah, Benson, I know. And, for the record, I'm not singing to you. **It's funny that you're calling me tonight."**

All he got for that was a brief chuckle, and he knew she was just humoring him. If that was the case, then her reason for calling him must be pretty serious. "Actually, it's not funny. I…I had a nightmare, alright? I had to make sure you were still alive."

She'd had a nightmare that had resulted in her reassuring herself that he hadn't died? "You wanna tell me about it?"

There was a pregnant pause on the other line while she considered it. "Not…really…"she began hesitantly, "but…at the same time…yes. I, uh, I was walking around Manhattan, and I passed by an alley when you ran past me with some blonde girl I didn't know. You were chasing a perp. You both ran down the alley, and I was standing there in full view, but you didn't see me. The perp…had set up an ambush somehow, and he…put a gun to your head…" she groaned in pain. "Elliot, it was fucking Gitano all over again! Except this time you didn't survive. This girl, your new partner, she made some stupid mistake and he…it was Gitano and he…he shot you, Elliot. I was standing in the alley and you were looking right at me but you didn't see me, and your partner vanished and I had your blood all over me. I went over to you and…and saw you lying there, dead, and Gitano, he whispered in my ear, 'If you had been with him to do your job he'd still be alive.'"

Elliot was completely silent, picturing his dream from the last time he'd slept, which was basically the same, except Gitano had cut Olivia's throat and was blaming Elliot and telling him, 'If she'd just been able to watch her back without you protecting her, this wouldn't have happened." Elliot had tried to throttle him to tell him that wasn't true. "Liv, it was just a dream. Your dream-Gitano must be just as stupid as the real one was. **And, yes, I dreamt of you, too."**

"That's the first sign of obsession, I'm told."

He shook his head. **"It's nice to know you're talking to me when it's not a fight."**

She decided not to answer that, nor did he expect her to. He already knew what her comment would be. "Does your partner know?"

Just for safety's sake, he glanced behind him again. Dani was still oblivious, chatting it up with John. **"No, I don't think she has a clue."**

The breathing on the other line hitched again and then caught. "Oh, God, it's my handler. Elliot, I have to go. Don't call back. Don't expect me to call again. I miss you. Oh, God, Elliot, I miss you."

"When are you coming back?" He didn't want to lose her now, not just after he'd gotten her back all of a sudden.

"I don't know. El, I've really got to—"

"Who the hell are you talking to?" The voice was distinctly male and apparently very pissed off. "Oh, _you_ took my phone card, didn't you?" He lowered his tone considerably. "Liv, you _know_ you're forbidden to call them! What if they trace this? Our whole operation could fall down around your ears! I won't blame anyone but you if that's what happens."

Elliot felt an incomprehensible surge of pure jealousy rise in his chest when he heard this unfamiliar man call Olivia by _his_ nickname for her. But she wasn't his anymore. She was this other guy's. And he wasn't hers, because Dani had staked the partner claim on him. _Temporary_ partner, he reminded himself. Dani was his temporary partner, his partner until Liv came back. Because she would come back. There was no way she couldn't come back.

"Bye, Liv," he whispered. There was no answer, just a slight scuffle and then a click to signal the disconnection. Elliot was left staring at his phone, fighting tears.

Feeling almost worse than he had when he started the conversation, Elliot returned to the squad room. Fin and Munch looked at him expectantly. What was he supposed to tell them? Oh, God in Heaven, what in the world was he supposed to tell them?

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**Thanks for reading! I luv u all!**

**I didn't go through the whole song because most of it's just repetition, in case you were wondering.**

**Please review! I want my donut! lol :)**

**~ally**


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